Yesterday morning, my beautiful friend Michael passed away. He visited me in a lucid dream just an hour before his departure from this planet. I haven’t dreamed of Michael before.

We first met 2 years ago on a ManKind weekend and since then we grew closer. We spent time together going on walks and being men that lunch. We shared the agony and ecstasy of life. He too had an absent father and 3 sisters. He too grappled with his own inner demons of addiction and codependency.

Michael taught me so much about loving in a conscious healthy way. It was such a different love to that I experienced with my limerence. It was a love not confused by the chemicals of lust. It was a love of fierce honesty and mutual respect. One where we were both able to be vulnerable. A love where I experienced a deep connection and real intimacy. Michael worked hard on himself to be the best version of himself.

And Michael’s final gift was too show me that death needn’t be something for me to run away from. I treasure my more recent visits with him where his body and mind were failing. Just holding hands and shedding tears was enough to communicate what needed to be said. And I was fortunate to have spent some time with him just the day before he passed away.

Michael leaves behind his husband who he married recently, although they had been together for 17 years.

Michael, you gave me so many gifts. I am sad and angry our time together was so brief. Journey safely my friend and wound mate.




David qualified as a Medical Doctor (GMC number 2941565) in 1984 from St. Thomas’ hospital, London. He obtained his GP and family planning certification. In 1999 he left medicine to set up docleaf, a leading Crisis Management and Trauma Psychology Consultancy. He has experience as a hypnotherapist and holds a postgraduate diploma in psychotherapy and counselling from the Centre of Counselling and Psychotherapy Education in London and is currently studying for an advance diploma in executive coaching.

David spends part of his time as an executive coach and running docleaf leadership which works with CEO’s and other C suite leaders in helping them develop and grow.

David has written extensively about limerence, sex and love addiction as well as trauma and PTSD. His interest in romantic relationships led him to set up, a support forum to help those impacted by this debilitating condition.

David is passionate about men’s work and his mission in life is to help people become more conscious by teaching and helping others and continuing his own self-development. He is actively involved in volunteering with the ManKind Project charity which helps men live their lives with more integrity, honesty and taking more personal responsibility.

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