Im working on my dissertation. ts around the male mid-life transition – In Jungian terms “the middle passage” Mine seems to be going on for years now, I reckon since 1999 when I had my first crisis of meaning after a traumatic work related event.

It seems there are 4 stages we need to transition in order to individuate in the second half of our lives:

Breakdown of the personna
Encounter with the shadow
Encounter with the anima
Crossing the soul’s river

My limerence was meeting my anima. I think limerence in mid life for many of us is meeting our anima/animus.

Here are some quotes from…us.html that resonate with me:

“The archetypal soul-image is always contrasexual, and as we experience our Shadow through someone else, we also experience our basic contrasexual components through another. We choose or become attached to someone who represents the qualities of our own psyche.”

“… the (soul-image) of woman becomes a receptacle for these demands, which is why a man, in his love-choice, is strongly tempted to win the woman who best corresponds to his own unconscious femininity – a woman, in short, who can unhesitatingly receive the projection of his soul. Although such a choice is often regarded and felt as altogether ideal, it may turn out that the man has manifestly married his own worst weakness.”

“The relation with the anima is again a test of courage, an ordeal by fire for the spiritual and moral forces of man.”

“Thus the encounter with the soul-image always means that the first half of life with its necessary adaptation to the outside world and the resulting extraverted orientation of consciousness is ended, and that we must begin to take the most important step of our adaptation to the inner world, namely to confront our own contrasexual aspect. ‘The activation of the archetype of the soul-image is therefore an event of fateful importance, for it is the most unmistakable sign that the second half of life has begun.”

This helps me deal with my limerence in whenever feelings around LO are activated, it makes me appreciate there are still unconscious aspects hidden in my shadow yet to reveal themselves.


David qualified as a Medical Doctor (GMC number 2941565) in 1984 from St. Thomas’ hospital, London. He obtained his GP and family planning certification. In 1999 he left medicine to set up docleaf, a leading Crisis Management and Trauma Psychology Consultancy. He has experience as a hypnotherapist and holds a postgraduate diploma in psychotherapy and counselling from the Centre of Counselling and Psychotherapy Education in London and is currently studying for an advance diploma in executive coaching.

David spends part of his time as an executive coach and running docleaf leadership which works with CEO’s and other C suite leaders in helping them develop and grow.

David has written extensively about limerence, sex and love addiction as well as trauma and PTSD. His interest in romantic relationships led him to set up, a support forum to help those impacted by this debilitating condition.

David is passionate about men’s work and his mission in life is to help people become more conscious by teaching and helping others and continuing his own self-development. He is actively involved in volunteering with the ManKind Project charity which helps men live their lives with more integrity, honesty and taking more personal responsibility.

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