Limerence was as much about a mid life crisis for me. I had just turned 50, my business had tanked and I was bored and restless.

Ironically LO gave me a book on this shortly after we met – “the middle passage – from misery to meaning in midlife” by James Hollis – my final year dissertation is based around this transition and spiritual awakening. I feel its a topic that is not discussed enough and just written off as men going off to sow their oats before they get old. the significance is far deeper and more painful for most of us, especially those that choose to use the experience for growth.

As for disclosure, ive expressed my views here about radical honesty. Disclosure to both LO and SO were gradual processes. With LO, its been met with continued defence and denial right to the end of our course.

Fortunately the relationship that really matters, with SO, has fared better. I think it helped SO was in her own therapy and we were also in marriage counselling. Its made our marriage for deeper, richer and closer, in a healthier inter-dependent way as opposed to the dependent-independent dance we had going on for the previous 25 years.

I know I want relationships with friends, family, children and SO that are honest, authentic and without lies and manipulation. The irony is, living a life more honest and conscious is no less challenging but its the way i choose to show up in the world. Yes, its a risk to share such painful emotions with our SO’s but my view was i’d rather risk the marriage then being stifled and not being able to express my feelings fully.


David qualified as a Medical Doctor (GMC number 2941565) in 1984 from St. Thomas’ hospital, London. He obtained his GP and family planning certification. In 1999 he left medicine to set up docleaf, a leading Crisis Management and Trauma Psychology Consultancy. He has experience as a hypnotherapist and holds a postgraduate diploma in psychotherapy and counselling from the Centre of Counselling and Psychotherapy Education in London and is currently studying for an advance diploma in executive coaching.

David spends part of his time as an executive coach and running docleaf leadership which works with CEO’s and other C suite leaders in helping them develop and grow.

David has written extensively about limerence, sex and love addiction as well as trauma and PTSD. His interest in romantic relationships led him to set up, a support forum to help those impacted by this debilitating condition.

David is passionate about men’s work and his mission in life is to help people become more conscious by teaching and helping others and continuing his own self-development. He is actively involved in volunteering with the ManKind Project charity which helps men live their lives with more integrity, honesty and taking more personal responsibility.

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