The following are the main symptoms seen with limerence

  •  Intrusive and obsessive thinking about the LO

    • Spending more time thinking about LO than anyone or anything else
    • Difficulty avoiding, reducing, stopping focusing and concentrating on LO, despite voluntary control
    • Distractibility to the point where relationships and responsibilities are compromised
    • Persistent, exaggerated positive or negative interpretations of LO’s cues
  • Replay and rehearsal

    • High sensitivity to LO’s behavioural cues
    • More often than not, constantly replaying events that have already occurred involving interactions with LO
    • More often than not, constantly anticipating/rehearsing events that have yet to occur involving interactions with LO
    • More often than not, constantly imagining vivid experiences in which LO reciprocates feelings and intentions
    • More often than not, such imagined experiences create feelings of hopefulness for reciprocation from LO, driving excessive and unreasonable behaviours/reactions
    • More often than not, these actions compromise efficiency/productivity
  • Anxiety and self-consciousness

    • Make constant attempts to present self (e.g., in physical appearance, behaviour and attitude) most favourably to LO
    • Physiological symptoms accompanying feelings of shyness, embarrassment, and anxiety (e.g., shortness of breath, perspiration, heart palpitations)
    • Aching/pain in the chest or abdominal regions are intensified with increased uncertainty and/or increased signs of rejection by LO
    • Socially inept in the presence of LO (e.g., stuttering, clumsiness, awkward behaviour)
    • Shyness, embarrassment, and anxiety are heightened in the actual or imagined presence of LO
    • Strong, persistent, enduring fear of being rejected by LO
  • Emotional dependence

    • Strong, persistent, enduring yearning for reciprocation from LO
    • Feelings of depression and/or apprehension are intensified with increased uncertainty and/or increased signs of rejection by LO
    • Feelings of ecstasy are intensified with signs of reciprocation by LO
    • Affective lability
    • Longing and yearning for reciprocation are heightened and intensified with uncertainty of status of LO’s feelings
    • Longing and yearning for reciprocation are heightened and intensified in the presence of situational barriers (e.g., LO takes a new job, LO moves out of town, LO’s schedule interferes with or prevents spending time together)
  • Impaired functioning
    • Significant relationships and responsibilities are compromised due to preoccupation on LO

david.perl

David qualified as a Medical Doctor (GMC number 2941565) in 1984 from St. Thomas’ hospital, London. He obtained his GP and family planning certification. In 1999 he left medicine to set up docleaf, a leading Crisis Management and Trauma Psychology Consultancy. He has experience as a hypnotherapist and holds a postgraduate diploma in psychotherapy and counselling from the Centre of Counselling and Psychotherapy Education in London and is currently studying for an advance diploma in executive coaching.

David spends part of his time as an executive coach and running docleaf leadership which works with CEO’s and other C suite leaders in helping them develop and grow.

David has written extensively about limerence, sex and love addiction as well as trauma and PTSD. His interest in romantic relationships led him to set up www.limerence.net, a support forum to help those impacted by this debilitating condition.

David is passionate about men’s work and his mission in life is to help people become more conscious by teaching and helping others and continuing his own self-development. He is actively involved in volunteering with the ManKind Project charity which helps men live their lives with more integrity, honesty and taking more personal responsibility.

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