Just a short post today, however some honest thoughts on the process of disclsoure with my own limerence

Conversations and disclosures with my LO has not been a linear process.

Ive now been 3 years with extended low contact and no contact, interspersed with a handful of increasingly honest disclosures by email and face to face

Ive done a lot of work with Stacey in therapy exploring my projections.

Part of the challenge is that its likely our LO’s maybe in different places emotionally and may not be as willing nor conscious to help us in our own “coming to terms” with our limerence.

For most of us this means we never get to close the loop and we have to find acceptance within ourselves of what happened.

Perhaps that just another lesson, to learn to live with the not knowing. So many unknowns.

Ive had so many lessons from my LE. They evolve with time as i incarnate more into my true self. My training is coming to an end and that means no more ongoing contact with LO. In one way i’ll be relieved but another part of me will be sad as this chapter in my life closes. The gods have provided a parting gift – 3 sessions of group therapy with 9 peers which includes my good friend R (who knows all about my LE) and LO.

All this leads to a theme thats come up in my own therapy and in group therapy at college – the being with the not knowing. For me, this is a significant life lesson. I have a curious mind and a desire to understand things, its why i’ve done what i’ve done, to try and understand stuff and myself. Limerence has taught me that some things can’t be fully understood. Ill never fully know why i became limerent, why this particular LO, how LO really feels about me, what could have been, blah blah blah.

Im learning to let go of the need to know and have a better capacity to just sit with the not knowing. Meditation helps me with that. The gods may think they have the last laugh and yet I know i can now sit in the presence of LO and not feel the need to act out.


David qualified as a Medical Doctor (GMC number 2941565) in 1984 from St. Thomas’ hospital, London. He obtained his GP and family planning certification. In 1999 he left medicine to set up docleaf, a leading Crisis Management and Trauma Psychology Consultancy. He has experience as a hypnotherapist and holds a postgraduate diploma in psychotherapy and counselling from the Centre of Counselling and Psychotherapy Education in London and is currently studying for an advance diploma in executive coaching.

David spends part of his time as an executive coach and running docleaf leadership which works with CEO’s and other C suite leaders in helping them develop and grow.

David has written extensively about limerence, sex and love addiction as well as trauma and PTSD. His interest in romantic relationships led him to set up www.limerence.net, a support forum to help those impacted by this debilitating condition.

David is passionate about men’s work and his mission in life is to help people become more conscious by teaching and helping others and continuing his own self-development. He is actively involved in volunteering with the ManKind Project charity which helps men live their lives with more integrity, honesty and taking more personal responsibility.

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